Always Do Your Best | The Four Agreements - Part 4

Tera Brown Author

Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more, no less. But the key to that is your best changes from moment to moment.

The four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is a powerful little tool for connecting with yourself and showing up in your life in a healthy way. If you haven’t yet, check out my last posts about the first agreement, the second agreement, and the third agreement. The fourth agreement is always do your best.

Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more, no less. But the key to that is your best changes from moment to moment. Your best is different depending on the day, or even the hour. Some days I have energy to conquer the world. I can clean the whole house, make bread, exercise and do the laundry, (no small task at my house :) ). Other days I need to take it slower, I am more mindful of my energy in all the PEMS areas (Physical, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual).

There are so many expectations in the world today for each of us, and in a culture still driven by media and photoshop, our best can seem unattainable. Notice he didn't say be perfect, or do everything just right. He said do your best. When you are impeccable with your word you will learn to be in tune with what that means for you.

If you do your best, you have satisfaction and feel comfortable in your path. Conversely, if you don’t do your best or try to just skate by on the bare minimum required all the time, you might find yourself in self judgment, frustration, guilt, and regret.

Can you run faster than you have strength?

When you overdo, you deplete your energy physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. You run from place to place, thing to thing trying to attain something that might not be within your power. Instead how would it feel inside yourself to go inside and do a check to see if you have energy to accomplish that task, or the mental fortitude right now. How could you better be impeccable with your word if instead of automatically saying yes to a request and then feeling overwhelmed, you stopped to check in with yourself and then decided.

Author, professor, and speaker Brené Brown tells a story about being asked to make cupcakes for a parent night at the school. She said, “sure” without stopping to ask herself if she had time or energy to do that. And then resentment crept in. Did you know resentment is your emotional body’s way of saying, “Hey, a boundary just got crossed!” You might not even know where the boundary is or that you actually had one there, but resentment tells you that you do.

So instead of immediately answering when someone asks you to do something, take a page from Brené Brown and pause. She said she spins her ring three times, takes a deep breath, and then asks herself if she really can do that request. If the answer is yes, she will happily answer. If that is going to be too much on her plate, she kindly says, “that isn’t going to work for me right now.”

Awareness is the first step

When we do our best, we have energy to truly enjoy life. We can savor every bite of that chocolate cake, feel the rain on our face, play with our children who just made a mess, and much more. When you are doing your best, it’s easier to stay out of judgment about how “much” you accomplish, or if you are doing the “right” thing.

“If you take action just for the sake of doing it, without expecting a reward, you will find that you enjoy every action you do. Rewards will come, but you are not attached to the reward...If we like what we do, if we always do our best, then we are really enjoying life.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

The first three agreements will only work for you if you do your best. Such a simple concept, but it takes awareness of self to really live that.

It sounds hard to do all the time

Don’t think that you will always be able to be impeccable with your word. Your patterns are strong and automatic, but you can do your best. Don’t think that you will never again take something personally, just do your best. Listen for that story in your head. Don’t think you will never again make an assumption. The lens you see the world with is strong, It is your experience, your perception, but do your best to stay out of them. Certainly do your best.

And the best way to stay out of judgment of yourself and these patterns, is to practice self compassion.